she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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