What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
