SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Who died my cat blue again?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
