i just google imaged poop.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
