she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
