I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
