you traded sex for a burrito?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
