he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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