She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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