K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
