I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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