No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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