I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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