the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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