She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
