So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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