everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
