So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
