hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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