I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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