I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
