we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
