I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
