Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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