As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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