i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this beer tastes like vomit already
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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