Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
