you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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