11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
