haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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