the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
