I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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