what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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