your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
