his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
