Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
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have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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