I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
