I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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