Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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