In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
