Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
