Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You can't just leave with hair like that
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
