erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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