You work out of a Hotel?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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