Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
