HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
