If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm too high and old for this...
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