I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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