we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
