Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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