This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
