Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
