32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
