When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
