what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
