Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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