Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
