if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am naked and annoyed.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
